Can I?

I have not been updating my blog for months. I was busy with my internship and studies for the past few months. Now is week 11 of my year 3 sem 3 and I will be very busy for few more weeks. It means that I should be either studying or doing assignments but I chose to write something here because I don't have mood to do other things. I have been crying for days, drinking beer, skipping meals and classes, and that's how moody I am. I gave myself a deadline for being so useless but I failed to be a stronger me even after the deadline. I tried to hide my sadness and smile but I can't. I can't hold my tears. I can't concentrate on anything. All I have in my mind is the memories with him. Our conversation, things we have done together,  places we went. I miss him. He might not be the forever one but he is the one I want for now. However, it seems like I am not the one he wants. So I am trying very hard to leave him. It will be very painful, but this is something I need to do. The problem now is can I? Am I strong enough to leave? I don't know..