Moody moody moody T_T

Today, I get back my probability test 1 paper. I got less than half of one third of the full marks. Yi Tyng and Jia Yee tell me not to be sad. But I can't control the tears from falling down. My class ended at 2pm and I reached home at 2.30pm. I took a shower and I start to watch drama until 9pm. I really don't have the mood to do other things. I cry while watching the drama is not totally because of the touching scenes but also because of the marks. I did and understand all the tutorials and notes but still I don't get the result I want. I start to feel like giving up.
I am very angry with my assignment's group members. They have so many ideas on how to do the assignment but they never get it started. Then when I come up with my idea, some of them seem to be not agree with it. With my idea, we can have more points for the proposal and it will be easier to write. But they say they don't want to have more problems and add more things. You are just lazy! I don't want to argue but I also don't want bad marks for my assignment.

Whr should I go?

After two weeks tests, at last I got some time to blog.

I don't feel like going home because there are too many problems there. My grandfather don't want to stay with us. He always say we are not treating him well. We give him food, let him watch the television as he wish, did not scold him. What the hell makes him thinks that we are not treating him well. He brings a chair and sits in front of the television as if the television is his. We totally can't watch anything. Everyday talk alone, don't know what the hell is he scolding. I will sure hear some bad words from him every morning if I am at home. Last time, he said that my dad is not his son anymore because of money. He wants my dad to return him the money that he paid for the down payment of the house immediately. My parents have to borrow from my mom's sis's boyfriend who is actually not close to my parents. He as an outsider is willing to borrow RM30000 to my parents. But he as a father wants his own son to pay him back immediately. He even take away the rice cooker that he bought. My parents need the rice cooker for their business. My parents said they will return him immediately after they buy a new one but he insist to take it away. What kind of father is this. Well, after my dad came back from England, he shifts from my uncle's house to my house. He got three sons but the two other sons never want to stay him. He gave them money to buy house and car and support them in anyway but he didn't do anything for my dad. However the one that is actually taking care of him is my dad. And now he dares to say we are not treating him well. Does he deserves my respect? FUCK HIM LA!!!! 

Even until now, my dad is on his side. My dad even argue with my mom because of him. I sometimes do not understand my dad. I know he is a good son but I don't think his father deserves it. 

I can stay in my hostel if I don't want to go home but I am not happy there either. I feel so desperate there. I don't feel that I am part of them. Previously, I used to thought that relationship between house-mates is very good but I am wrong. Relationship with course-mates will be better. I can hardly find a topic to talk to them. We are dealing with different people and different things. Now yi hong is not here because he is sick. I become more desperate than ever.

stress~

I missed two weeks classes due to chicken pox. I thought that I can manage to cover those topics in my studies but it is really not easy. Those chapters are related. I can hardly understand the lectures nowadays because I don't understand the parts that I missed. I borrowed and copied those notes that I missed out. While copying, I try to understand it by myself but I failed. I totally agree with Ronald that sometimes doing our best isn't enough. However, most of the people say hard work is the key to success. I hope its real and I will work real hard for my degree!

Getting better~

Two days after I lost my iPhone, I have chicken pox. Chicken pox is not something that will recover in few days. It has been almost two weeks but the chicken pox still not fully recover yet although it does gets better. I have to wear long sleeves and long pants everyday to cover it. Its so hot!!! But at least I get to attend classes now. And one good news to tell, I am not crying because of my iPhone anymore! =)

Lesson learned T_T

I had lost my phone which is an iPhone. Phone of this brand has a lot applications including application to find the location of the phone. However, this does not help me to find back my iPhone because I did not have the application. Even iCloud does not help. I don't really know why but my brother say I did not on or activate something.

Some of you might be thinking 'how does it get lost?'. All I can say is my fault. I went to toilet and library and left it in my bag. I did thought of the phone when I was in the library but I did not went out to get it. I was thinking it will be fine in my bag. I did not check for the presence of the phone after I came out from the library but went to class. After the class, I was about to take bus. So I open the zip where I kept my iPhone to take my bus ticket and that is the time I found out that my phone is no more in there. I find everywhere in my bag and I did not see it. I started to get nervous. I started to think of the places where my phone might lost. Library came to my mind and I hurried to the library. I would say the phone lost outside of the library because my bag was with me all the time except when I was in the library. 

This phone is actually from my brother. Although its not a new phone but this phone is very important to me. It is very meaningful to me but I just lost it. I used this phone for one month plus only. I feel very sorry to my mother who always remind me that it is very dangerous to hold two phones but I insist to use two phones. I also feel very sorry to my brother who gave me the phone and purposely downloaded games for me. The games that I play is the games that he feels noob and boring but he still search for new games that he feels that I will like to play for me. Now everything is gone T_T. SORRY.

I do not know who is the one who stole it but I am sure this thief is not going to live good in the rest of his life. I am sure to forgive this thief if this thief is willing to return me my phone. I will try my best to find the phone no matter how difficult it is. I will pray hard that I will get my phone back. I hope everyone of you learn something from this post. REMEMBER TO HOLD YOUR VALUABLE THINGS IN YOUR HANDS WHEREVER YOU GO. 

Problemssss~~~

Few days ago Shin Yee told me that there is a lot of things bothering her. Same goes to me. You might think that I have a happy family. I have my grandparents and parents living with me but there are a lot of problems between us.Two days ago, while everyone busy making and enjoy eating tang yuan, there were some arguments between my family members. Now, my grandma is at her brother's house. This is not the first time she run away from house to other people's house. Few days or a week later, she will come back to my house again. Arguments always happen in my house. So damn annoying. Before this I was thinking how nice if I have another house for me to go to. Now I have another house but my mother don't let me to stay there whenever I have no class. She always wants me to be at home. I DON'T LIKE TO BE AT HOME!!! 

That is only one of my problems. I am fat. I am not eating much nowadays but I am not losing weight! I do exercise too but it doesn't help. =(  Yesterday, I went for facial. The beautician told me that my face looks fine but if all the pimples burst out then it will be a terrible one. I don't know what can I do about it. I don't have that much money to do treatment now. I just hope it does not burst out. I have very bad temper recently, even worst than before. I get angry at anything and everything especially my mother. I am so sorry mom. I can't control my temper. The most important one is I did not get the result I want previous semester. I find it difficult to get for this semester. T_T

Eiiwwwww.....

My brother is currently working at Pacific Coffee Shop. So sometimes he will bring back foods because those food cannot be left to sell on the next day. I will try those food out. Well this is not my point for now. There is this one night he brought back sandwiches and pasta. I ate one of the sandwiches. It is half of the organic egg sandwich. Later, my brother starts to eat the other half. He took his first bite but did not swallow anything into his stomach. Then he said the sandwich was not good already. Then I was like 'Huh!!! I ate it!!!'. haha~ I am that stupid that I don't even know the food cannot be eaten anymore. He brought back the sandwich again. This time he asked me to make sure it is in good condition. To be honest, I am still not sure is it good but I had it all in my stomach already XD.